Girl shunning, mean girls whatever you call it, this is wrong! I have written about this before as it was happening to me. More importantly, as a teacher I must face what is a societal norm. Some will state that is it not present. That is the lie that is told.
It runs prevalent with our youth and sadly, it all begins with you. Do you open your arms up to another’s difference or do you whisper and gossip away.
The saddest factor is speaking to young ladies, and hearing why the attempted to end their life or found solace in an addiction. It is happening earlier and earlier to our girls and our girls do not deserve to be mistreated!
As an educator, I have traditionally taught at-risk youth and/or those with disabilities. In fact, I just had a conversation with a concerned parent about such the subject. Her response, “When we realized this was happening, we did everything in our power with the schools, and yet, this is not the importance; the state standards are and my daughter has been saddened ever since. I miss my happy girl.”
Trust me when I say, I have had girl drama erupt in my classroom. One year I had 16 students; 14 girls and 2 boys- ages 13-14. We all fine and dandy and then wham out of no where, girls are swinging and we are off to the races.
The Real Raw Truth
Let me be real! Let me be Raw! Are you raising a mean girl. Or are you in fact a mean girl that is an adult teaching, showing the way?
This is a learned behavior and our girls are learning it somewhere. So, ladies let’s take responsibility and teach them empathy and compassion. A good way to begin the conversation is with my beginner’s guidebook: Awakening the Feminine Goddess.
Now this is not to criticize nor judge; my intentions are to calm the storm. To show that we can honor one another’s differences. Let’s help our young ladies honor themselves and others.
5 Ways to be Standing Tall
First of all, it begins with her female role model. What is influencing your young lady? There was a very valid reason that I chose to disallow violent video games, shows and movies when my children were younger. The impression that they would absorb is much more important, than the factor that they did not watch what everyone else was. In fact, I used to have kids come to my house, because my house had “rules and expectations.” If you broke them, you had consequences to pay.
Now with that being said here are 5 ways to stand tall.
1, Be authentic. Be you even if that means standing out of the crowd. Prime example, is a student I had who wanted to wear black lipstick. She was all excited to show this to me; I gave her permission ( of course, with her parents permission); she exited the bathroom and that is when all heck broke lose. At that moment, other female students wanted to chastise her choices. It was the perfect teaching opportunity of helping her to see her beautiful expression of who she truly is.
2. Speak with your daughter; keep the conversation flowing. I do not know how many times a parent has said to me, “How’d you get her to tell you that?” Even though your tween/teen is pulling away towards independence, they are still impressionable and need support.
3. Honor and Respect your young ladies independence. It is important that she feel she has the ability to express who she is. This goes back to being authentic and allowing her true self to shine through. My very conservative parents were blessed with a headstrong, independent, intelligent creative innovator. I was know to find loop holes in the school dress code, and began a revolution to wear white after labor day. Young parents may not know this, but gasp it was against the etiquette rules to wear white after labor day and here I am not only wearing white, I usually had some stain from jumping in mud puddles. Shock, gasp, the horror of it all. Not, it is best to let your girl be her; let her grow and expand.
4. Support her endeavors. It should not be, because I said so. I am part of that generation and yep, that does not go over too well. If she wishes to go out for wrestling then by golly go to every match and cheer her on. Or if she wishes to be a cheerleader, then again, support her by showing up to her events.
5. No judgement! Perfect example, happens to be a boy in a commercial, but he repeats a very judgmental statement that he overheard his mom say about his aunt. Teens are listening and watching even, if you do not believe that they are. I had a conversation with a student one time about how can she respect her mom, when her mom is a gossip.
That takes us to lead by example. Our girls are depending on us to guide, show and teach them the way. It all begins with us. Are we perfect. Nope! Will we make mistakes? Oh, yes and that is okay. Do we get an A for effort, yes, yes we do. We just cannot give up!
Let’s show our ladies that it is okay to be their true selves and that do not have to pretend to be someone else. Be glad that we are all different, because if we were all the same that would be one boring world.
Let’s embrace your differences and honor your beauty.
Let’s Raise Girls with Strong Self-Esteem!
Natasha, I would love for my daughter to be herself!
A Great way to begin the discussion with a young lady or a better understanding for all ages.
Oodles of Love & Magical Blessings,
Natasha Botkin, Master Teacher & Intuitive Behavioral Energy Healer, is a #1 international bestselling Author, Artist and Shiny Gold Star Quest creator. She uses healing soul psychology energies when working with youth and adults by releasing patterns & blocks to help them empower themselves. Connect with me Magical Blessings Healing Center